45 Dumbest Argument Starters: From Bad Dreams To Samsung iPhonesBy Amanda Cooper
Without family feuds, family isn’t family, right? No matter what the subject of the disagreement, every family falls out sometimes. Whether it’s a silly fight or not is not up for discussion. Every family fights, but not every family goes on Twitter to air out their personal grievances. Some parents may consider it a bit rude, oversharing, and an invasion of privacy. But when Jimmy Fallon tweeted out to his followers to share their #DumbestFamilyFight for his show’s #Hashtags segment in 2020, people opened up about their family feuds. Even though The Tonight Show didn’t end up using these tweets for the segment, they still had good entertainment value. From failed insults to debates about the direction the ceiling fan rotates, here are 45 of the silliest family fights, as told on Twitter.
Disclaimer: Photos are for illustrative purposes only. Photos, the people in them, and the users who post them are not to be associated in any way with the Tweet and the Twitter user being discussed in the article.
A Dream Come True
In the movie Nightmare On Elm Street, whatever the antagonist Freddy Krueger did to his victims in their dreams, actually happened in the real world. While Mr. Krueger doesn’t really exist, sometimes people do have dreams that are pretty real. Not that they wake up with physical cuts and bruises or anything like that, though…
But like the dream described in the tweet above, it was so real that it started a 30-year sibling rivalry that left a set of twins at odds with one another. Eventually, it was a simple non-sensical detail that made them realize the source of their feud.
Get Off My Lawn
As above, so below, and as inside, so it is outside, right? Likewise, as it is with the carpet, so it is with the grass of the garden. But @TheRealChov didn’t know this inside secret and thought it would be better if the children ate their easter cookies in the garden to avoid messing inside.
But his father-in-law was about to remind him about the long-lost rule of the grass… don’t drop anything on it. That’s right; daddy was as precious about his lawn as mother-in-law was about her carpet. He probably used organic soil to grow it, meaning cookie crumb would spoil it, in turn spoiling that perfect grass.
An Optical Illusion
A great part of going on a road trip is the journey, not the destination. It’s about seeing the sights, stopping for photos, and even catching a glimpse of animals that urban and suburban life doesn’t offer. But it can also become a little frustrating, especially when people want to stop unnecessarily.
But the worse thing is the optical illusions that actually make people stop, hell, even turn the car around, thinking they’re going to see turkeys or something cool. At least it wasn’t a black dog he saw; according to urban legend, it’s a sign of being on the road too long without sleep.
Giving Animal Gifts In Spite
Everyone likes a trophy animal, right? Well, except the animal rights activist and the couple in the tweet below. This is despite them being responsible for buying the animals in the first place. But this is also a clear example of why it isn’t wise to purchase gifts in spite.
We’re not sure how this marriage is holding up, but getting a new squirrel or moose figurine may be good news for Bruce and Pearl. It must be frustrating for mom and dad in the tweet, though, knowing they’re going to get another animal figurine for Christmas. Here’s hoping someone eventually breaks the cycle.
Mom Hasn’t Been A Kid In 20 Years!
It’s an age-old struggle that parents have been having with their children since recorded history. Okay, maybe not that long, but mothers have been fighting with their children about cleaning their rooms across many generations. The only thing is, this fight is usually reserved for parents of teenage children.
But here is a rather angsty six-year-old who believes his mom doesn’t know what it’s like to be a child. It’s unclear whether the child means the part where kids just want to have fun or the part where they get to make a mess and just leave it. Let’s hope he remembers this argument when he has a six-year-old of his own.
Now That’s How To End A Fight
In an era where more and more domestic violence cases are being reported despite the strong disdain for it in society, it’s nice to see a fight handled so peacefully. It has to be admitted that starting an argument about a magazine is a bit petty, though.
But the husband probably deserves to get off on this one, considering it was the only fight he and his wife ever had, according to this tweet at least. But there is a lesson for men around the world in this one. When partners cause anger about something, go bowling!
This is a million-dollar question about this tweet. Why did her mother give the puppy away? Sure they’re a handful, but they make up for it with adorability, and they can be trained into excellent dogs. It’s also pretty cruel how this mother could take away an animal her child loves so much.
So it’s perfectly understandable that this woman was so upset when she found out the puppy had never died and that she had been running into it every day on her walks. @VaniaAMBorges1 probably learned a critical lesson from this experience: always ask for physical evidence.
Umm… Actually, I’m Dating None Of Them
This was supposed to be a tragic occasion where a family is on the brink of mourning the loss of a father and husband. But instead, it turned into a comedy of errors fit for a Woody Allen black comedy. There are questions to be answered, though.
While it’s understandable that there could be some confusion about the name of her love interest, and it’s understandable how Kevin and Oliver can be mistaken for Trevor. The real question is: Is this a case of name confusion, or has @RealFionaO been through three men so fast her parents can’t keep up due to her father’s condition?
I’m Not A Cry Baby!
Some people just handle conflict differently. Some are calm, while others lose their minds. Then some burst into tears when they can’t get their way. But there is a huge difference between a cry baby and a sensitive person, as @natashaham75 proved.
Being a sensitive person is someone who gets highly charged to the point of tears when they’re not winning an argument. Either that or it’s just a great excuse her mother used for her behavior as a child, and one she’s learned to use in adulthood.
An Apple Samsung
These days, grandparents are actually getting in on the tech revolution, from owning smartphones to having Facebook accounts. Grandma is now available on WhatsApp for desperate grandkids looking for a handout to go out on Friday night. She can also like all those party photos posted from the outing!
What they still don’t get, though, is the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung. Sure, they look the same to the untrained eye, but to be truly tech-savvy, confusing Apple and Android is not the way to do it. Not that grandma cares about the name on the phone, she probably just wants to like Facebook photos!
Look, A Squirrel!
Arguments normally end with someone having the last say. This person is, in turn, considered the winner of the argument, leaving the loser more angry and likely to start another argument. But on some occasions, arguments end differently, without a winner declared.
That was the case with this tiff between @QuantumFlux1701 and her sister. The funny thing is Quantum must have been losing the argument since she refused to tell her sister what the argument was about after the distraction. Perhaps her sister should have shown more focus during the argument.
How Is It Even Possible?
It’s understandable where this kid is coming from. How is Harrison Ford so cool that he actually played both Han Solo and Indiana Jones? Then again, this is more of a time thing than a coolness one, with this kid clearly not getting how he could be playing two different characters simultaneously.
Of course, kids will be kids: They learn all the time and, when they don’t understand, they will blame adults for not understanding. Like @masterbearjedi, who couldn’t fathom Harrison Ford being two cool characters, so figured his dad just doesn’t know how movies work. Amazingly, Ford is rumored to be playing Jones one more time in an upcoming film.
As Long As It’s Cooling The Room
In a world where nations are fighting and people are dying because of petty arguments, @boogiechurv comes in with this doozy of a silly family argument. They already come across as a strange family since they’re arguing during the season to be jolly.
But what could bring about an argument during the most wonderful time of the year? Well, according to Mr. Boogie, it was about whether the ceiling fan was turning clockwise or anti-clockwise. Does it matter? Well, anticlockwise creates a cooling wind-chill effect for summer, while clockwise creates an updraft, preserving warm air in the room. This could save a lot of money on cooling and heating costs.
What’s There To “Are You” About
Despite its simplicity, the English language has some crazy nuances. From phonics that changes with certain words to silent letters, it’s a minefield out there. But one thing that isn’t very complicated is the g in the word argue because it isn’t silent. At least that was the case until @Tara_FUC’s husband came along.
As the tweet describes, he believed the G in argue is silent. He even pronounces the word as “are you,” which means something completely different. It would be fascinating to know how he says “are you” in a sentence and how he explains that he doesn’t want to argue after using it.
Not Everything Tastes Good With Ketchup
There’s a saying that goes, don’ tell them, show them. Sometimes this is actually a good way to win a debate. Because then it just a point of view or analogy being used, but actually experiential evidence. This is how @vickilovestacos tried to prove her point to a friend.
The main downfall of her sister’s argument was using the word anything. Fries, hot dogs, and sandwiches are understandable. But does she really think it tastes good on waffles, cereal, or, heaven forbid, cake? That’s just nasty. She probably didn’t take long to admit her argument was wrong.
Tell Her Something She Doesn’t Know?
There are few given things in this life: death, taxes, and the fact that people know when their own birthday is. None of these can be sidestepped, although @SuperWhovianNut came across someone who believed they could tell her that she was born on a different date.
It’s doubtful that this person had ties to the Civil Registry office because showing off her ID squashed that argument. But maybe this person knew something that Sarah didn’t? Maybe this person was there when she was born a day earlier, or maybe this person wouldn’t concede after getting @SuperWhovianNut’s birthdate wrong.
Faking Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry is a given right. But when a family consists of many siblings, it’s improbable that they would all argue at the same time. Two or three may get heated with one another, but all of them will never get into a fight. At least not until @hannafurman_ tried starting one.
One of her sisters must be in the priesthood because she wanted to create a sermon based on all four of them getting into a fight. As expected, they couldn’t think of such an incident, although Hannah didn’t mind giving her sister some satisfaction by starting one for the first time.
An Actual Fight Over Spilled Milk
They say there’s no point crying over spilled milk. But that’s exactly what happened between @tickledpinkat41’s mom and aunt… kind of. There’s also a hairbrush involved, but it was most likely about a lot more than that, considering they never spoke for 20 years after the argument.
One can always buy more milk, and a brush can be replaced, although sentimental value could be a reason for emotional overreaction. But to cause two decades of silence is a little overboard. Maybe there was something more to it, and the milk and brush were just a trigger.
But Really: Can One Fall Upstairs?
It’s unclear what the answer is to this, but there must be some gravitas to the debate if it caused a three-week-long argument among this family. In fact, @thisisjaysworld even updated the situation, saying it’s an ongoing debate, which means no one has reached a resolution yet.
It’s only imagining what the arguments are like: Falling generally involves going down, so it’s clearly possible to fall downstairs. But what about stumbling while going upstairs? Surely that’s equivalent to falling upstairs? It’s difficult to choose a winner from the two, but hopefully, this family eventually did choose.
Unlike adults, children believed that their elders would die before them. This probably adds to the invincibility complex some have and makes it difficult for parents to shelter them from danger. All because they believe it’s not their time to go.
That is exactly what the subject of the tweet must have been thinking when she hit back at her siblings for protecting her from danger. Hitting back with “you’ll die first” is a cruel reminder that age will eventually be the death of us. What someone should have told her, though, is not if that dangerous situation doesn’t play out smoothly.
A Feud For the Aged
Both Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy are iconic and popular shows on American TV. Both have also been around for a long time, so naturally, modern grandparents would’ve been engrossed in it since their childhood or at least early teens. But apparently, things can turn ugly when they debate about which show is better.
According to this tweet, one such debate turned into a full-blown argument, which included some expletives. Wheel of Fortune may be winning this one a the moment since Pat Sajak is still hosting it. Jeopardy is currently using rolling hosts since the death of long-time host Alex Trebek.
Things Got Ugly
It doesn’t matter what happens or what the argument is about; it should never turn to people’s looks. As the below family argument tweet shows, things can literally turn ugly because someone used the word ugly. It’s amazing how things escalated in this tweet, though.
The biggest lesson learned from this tweet is that sometimes the truth just needs to remain unspoken. For instance, some dogs are not very beautiful, but no owner wants their dog called ugly. No one wants their granddaughter called ugly either. So even if someone has a wrinkly pug, a fistfight can be prevented by not calling it ugly.
Make Peace Not War
One of the biggest challenges with family vacations is fitting in everything everyone wants to do. That and, of course, getting everyone to cooperate for the entire trip. This is why they’re both fun and tense at the same time, because, as was proven by this tweet, things can turn ugly in a moment.
@pinkeyegus and his family were on vacation, and even he admits that the aunt whose activity was happening was annoying. Beach meditation can make people open up, although perhaps saying what his dad said was a little overboard. Replying “burn in hell” probably isn’t the ideal way to end beach meditation either.
Father Knows Better
Sometimes kids can feel like parents are a little too hard on them. But parents are just protective when they scold and punish kids for things they do wrong. But sometimes fathers can be a little overboard, as was the case with @Ma2adams.
Firstly, we must say that her father was dead right; there’s no way anyone can make a functional PB&J by applying the jelly first. Especially if it’s an open slice of bread. But sending someone to their room for making the mistake, that is a little unfair.
Does It Matter Which Comes First Here?
Unlike an open slice of PB&J which always has the PB before the J, as the name suggests. For underwear and socks, it’s still like the X-Files. Because the truth is out there on this one, @itsleahbale’s family probably thought it was a good idea to bring it to the debate table.
Little did they know that this wouldn’t be an easy one to resolve. Whoever started it probably expected the entire family to agree on one. But instead, some chose socks first, while others chose underwear first. Once that happens, it’s an endless argument, no wonder it went on for a month.
Daylight Saving Time Isn’t Saving Anyone From An Argument
Daylight saving time is a method used all across the world to better use daylight. The idea is to change the clocks by an hour, adding more daylight to the end of the day. It’s usually simple for humans, who adjust to doing things at an hour different after the change.
But animals don’t understand time the same way, using a more instinctive approach to timing things like feeding times. But for the owners, it was difficult to decipher whether to feed their cat at the new 5 pm or the old one. For @kansasbradbury’s, it caused one of the silliest family arguments.
Another Example Of Petty Sibling Rivalry
Siblings can be quite petty when it comes to arguments with each other. Tiffs can range about anything from a “stop using my things” to “stay on your side of the room.” But taking ownership of a window and complaining that a sibling is looking through it must stop it.
Sadly that’s what @jmahoney413 had to go through on a car ride with her sister. Where was she sitting anyway? Was she inconveniencing anyone? What if all the interesting things were passing by that window? At least the family still saw the humorous side and still make fun of the occurrence.
Dear Future Husband… Beware
Every girl dreams about their wedding day. Even those who vow never to get married invest their hearts and souls once they’ve met Mr right and are planning their own special day. But sometimes, even family can get a little ahead of themselves when planning for a wedding.
Like @cthesaltythespsi’s family, some got so far ahead of themselves that they actually started a fight about her wedding, which is nowhere near happening. It’s so far off she doesn’t even have a boyfriend. They’re probably just so confident that she will find a partner that they feverishly want to make their favorite girl’s special day memorable.
Now That’s What We Call Hangry
It’s unclear if scientific research went into the notion of being hangry, but the word is in the Oxford dictionary, so it must have some kind of gravitas. That being said, the reaction to being irritable due to hunger hasn’t been fully gauged yet, but the reaction in this tweet is a little overboard.
Sure, someone could have checked the bag for the BBQ sauce, although the person serving shouldn’t have missed it in the first place. But punching a hole in the wall means someone has anger issues. Surely a stop at a local grocer would’ve solved the problem and provided a bottle that would last longer.
What Kind Of A Roommate Agreement Is This?
It’s unclear who “they” are, but @EyesOfTengoku shares a pretty compelling story about a very dumb argument between two people. These are most likely roommates who share grocery responsibilities because a couple would argue about who has to buy the groceries next.
No sir, only roommates with a roommate agreement, aka Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadter, argue about who is buying the groceries next. Either one or both of them must be broke, too, since the argument got so heated that neighbors had to get involved. Here’s hoping things didn’t escalate beyond just words.
Another Age-Old Argument Starter
Put down the toilet seat. That’s been an instruction to men using the toilet to urinate since the invention of the indoor toilet. This is probably why public toilets have urinals so that no one has to argue with men not dropping the seat.
This becomes a big problem for the only man in the house among a group of girls. No one else needs to use the toilet with the seat up, so there’s no one to blame when the ladies come down on him like a ton of bricks. Of course, if @sorayaburgos7 has a guy over, then her dad has an alibi.
Which Is Scarier?
Nobody likes doing chores, but the more tedious ones, like doing the dishes and taking out the trash, are usually left to the children in the house. But some kids get pretty crafty about getting out of doing their chores. @Libecca96’s boyfriend’s brother must regret the stunt he pulled.
Being too afraid of the dark is one way of getting out of taking the trash out. Nyctophobia is a fear of the dark that is so intense that it can cause anxiety. But this mom was having none of it and became scarier than the dark. The funny thing is, she may as well have done it herself.
Guess Who’s Not Sleeping In Bed Tonight
Everyone has played some form of the “who or what would you take to a Deserted Island” game at some point. It’s a game of fantasy but, because it’s often played amongst family, it’s important to be tactful about which fantasy items or people chose though, things can get tricky.
Take @ruachchaser dad, who said he wanted pop music sensation and beauty Dua Lipa with him on the island. It’s no doubt who he wants to replace with the songstress, and it likely didn’t go down well with the missus. We hope the sofa sleeps comfortably.
Some People Just Can’t Handle A Joke
Having rich family members has its perks. There is a guaranteed person to hit up when things get a little tough financially. The only downside is that they don’t handle jokes very well, especially when it comes to spending their money.
This is what Emmy Winning Entertainment Publicist Danny Deraney discovered when the scene in his tweet played out. If it’s true and they haven’t spoken to him in eight years, he better hope he doesn’t run into financial trouble. Luckily he owns his own successful PR firm. We wonder if he can handle a joke.
Telling Moses From Noah
Certain bible stories are universally known: David and Goliath, Samson and Delilah, and Daniel And The Lion. But no two are bigger than the story of Moses, and Noah’s Ark. They’ve even had movies made about them and had countless retelling in Christian children’s programs.
But when @bhkowboy777 hit his family with the abovementioned question, his grandmother mixed her Moses from Noah. The next thing she’s storming away, and all his dad can muster is a new rule about not talking religion at the dinner table. @bhkowboy777 probably should have kept his jokes to himself.
An Annoying Act
Two things are guaranteed to annoy even the calmest person. One is someone copying what another person is saying, and another mimicking the way someone does something in front of them. This is exactly the kind of trouble @Corinnee96 was causing.
She, her sister, and her father was planning to mimic how their mother/wife slept. It’s unclear what it looked like, but the mother/wife was against it. They ended up doing it anyway and believe they invented a thing call mom planking. We wonder if it’s anything like the core-building gym exercise called planking.
Things Could Have Ended Badly Here
One of the last things anyone wants is for someone close to them to suffer a head injury and trauma. So much so that often when people exhibit symptoms of it, especially confusion, people get irritated with the person instead of concerned about their mental state.
This is what happened to @MTLFORBRKFST’s brother when he continuously asked what the date was. His mother got so irritated she grounded him, turn out that wasn’t fair because he had a concussion. It’s unclear how they discovered it, but it’s a good thing they did; the problems could’ve become a lot worse if it wasn’t monitored.
Twins Shouldn’t Call Eachother Ugly
Even identical twins have something that sets them apart. This is why parents can tell them apart so easily. But it’s also something that can become an issue, which is why it’s probably better not to let them know how they are being told apart.
That’s because, as @ezmerald’s tweet suggests, even twins will try and do something dumb, like trying to figure out who is the ugliest between them. This even though they still look virtually the same, give or take the one thing their parents use to tell them apart.
I Actually Need Spectacles
Sometimes people just need to toughen up, right. A little fitness test, nick or cut, muscle cramps, can’t be allowed to slow or hold one down. That’s why being tough and trying even harder are important. Yet, some problems cannot be improved by toughening up and trying harder.
Like @ms_emily_allen’s father, who has needed specs for years even though his wife says that he is just lazy. Of course, he could just be too lazy to look properly, but it’s also worthwhile to see an ophthalmologist, just to be sure the eyes are working properly. Common age-related eye problems include glaucoma, dry eyes, and temporal arteritis.
What Happens When The Insults Run Out
We know that siblings can get up to some strange thing. But throwing insults at each other at two in the morning is a new low. This is actually a thing and has an explanation in Urban Dictionary. There are even rules and boundaries.
It’s unclear exactly how a winner is chosen, although it’s imagined that running out of insults is one way of losing the war. This is most likely why @Superhero4life’s sister called her a thigh, just to keep herself alive in the game. She could’ve called her a fat thigh, which would have had more of a punchline.
Bad Credit For Late Library Books
In life, an important factor is the credit record. It doesn’t matter whether it’s used to make lots of credit or just use it to buy a house and car; a good credit record is good for anyone. This is why people don’t like anything that’ll negatively impact their credit score.
It’s also probably why this dad was so pissed at @magicdel not returning his library books on time. However, his fears were unfounded since library books don’t go on credit records, at least since 2015. Debt isn’t registered to an address either, but the principle of the matter is that his son is building bad habits, which should be nipped in the bud.
Demanding Brother Musical Chairs
While it’s almost expected for siblings to fight and act on their rivalry. It’s also not uncommon for them to argue about mostly mundane things which seem valid to them but are absolutely frustrating for parents. Then there is something downright defiant and stupid at the same time.
As described by @lucklee1972, he and his twin brother once started a half-hour argument telling one another to sit down. What worse is that the two were so defiant that neither one sat down but laid down just to prove a point. What a waste of time!
So Maybe Santa Does Exist?
One of the biggest ways parents eventually prove to their children that Santa Clause doesn’t exist is by saying that he can’t make it to every household in one night. But like all sound put-downs, there is also a perfectly theorized comeback. That’s what @PeaceLoveOil and her family were feverishly debating.
The theory in question is the timezone theory is based on the fact that Christmas eve starts first somewhere in the world. If Santa moved from timezone to timezone, he could deliver gifts around the world. Of course, it isn’t 100%, but why doors slammed and swearing happened is anyone’s guess; maybe people don’t want Santa to exist.
What A first Argument To Have
There’s one guarantee about starting a relationship. Eventually, the couple will argue. What that argument is about is one thing, and whether the couples survive the argument is another story. At least @Faith_Lalaian confirmed that she is married to her husband in the tweet.
But what’s more shocking is the fact that they were arguing about this at all because it’s a little-known fact that off-brand often tastes better than on-brand. Whether that is the case for Pop-Tarts isn’t scientifically proven, but it didn’t need an argument to solve it, just buy the two brands and test them yourself.
Choosing His Good Friend, Over His Children
Many siblings tend to fight for their parents’ attention. This is the basic premise of sibling rivalry and everything that goes with it. But then children still need to compete with dogs of all things. Not that dogs aren’t adorable, but they need to mind their business.
That was difficult to do in @adidasoftball’s case, where her father once made her scoot up so that the dog could sit next to him. The dog, meanwhile, obviously obliged since he was a dog and was just doing what he was told, being a good dog in the process. We wonder he handled the fight.